Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation.
Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
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