Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World...
War.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Latin insulted Chuck Norris.
It is now a dead language.
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