Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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