Two halves make a whole. Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Chuck did enter the Dragon.