Two halves make a whole.
Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
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I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
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Chuck Norris once drank a Red Bull and the can grew wings.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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