Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months.
The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area.
The doctors think hard about this.
They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea.
Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy.
He soon rushes out saying, ''I think she's choking!"
I joined Bachelors Anonymous.
Every time I feel like getting married they send round a woman in curlers to nag me for a while.
My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another.
So far we’ve been up for three weeks.
My wife treats me like a God – every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering.
My wife has a contract to give lectures – it’s called a marriage licence.
A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them.
When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said,
"I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."
The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car."
The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?"
She replied,
"Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."
Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.
If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before and after marriage.
When I got home last night my wife demanded that I 'take her somewhere expensive'...
I took her to a petrol station...