He was a colourful boxer. Black and blue all over.
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
What's a bee's favourite sport? Rugbee.
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
What do golfers use in China? China tees!
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low. The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.