He was a colourful boxer.
Black and blue all over.
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him.
Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him.
He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
What's a bee's favourite sport?
Rugbee.
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
Why did the football coach flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
What do golfers use in China?
China tees!
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?"
I said, "No, permanent."
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy."
Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.