The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods.
Swimming
Why are old socks good for golf?
Because they have eighteen holes.
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy."
Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
Did you hear that the boxer Colloso Mamello, was disqualified?
Yes, but why?
Because he was superstitious.
He had a horseshow, hidden in his glove...
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Basketball
Hey babe, let's play football!
You can have first down.
High five!
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.