What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
He was such a big baby that the doctor was afraid to slap him.
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
What’s funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."