Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed? Her toes curl up when you screw her.
Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men? You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!" Johny: "I have no idea."
Harry is better at sex than anyone he know. Now all he needs is a partner.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.