Best jokes ever

A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes" Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
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A woman applies for a job in a lemon grove. ‘Have you got any experience picking lemons?’ asks the foreman. ‘I certainly have,’ says the woman. ‘I’ve been married four times.’
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What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer.
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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Yo mama so fat when god said let there be light she was told to move out of the way.
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A Blonde was at a gumball machine. She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"
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What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter.
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Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sex?’ Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’ Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue. Forget it.’
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Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A. She kept having affairs with men!
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