Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage.
For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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Q: Why did the Asian cross the road?
A: Because he had no car!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Doctor Doctor who?
That's a great TV show, isn't it?
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A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
There's something actionable in your pants.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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