Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, she practises birth control by leaving the lights on.
Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
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Q: What's brown and taps on the window?
A: A baby in a microwave!
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
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Chuck Norris told Wiz Khalifa what it is.
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