He was so poor all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs.
The real shame was that he had five older sisters.
Uncle Harry is very rich.
His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with.
‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’
Douglas Adams
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her bra?
‘Thanks for the refill.’
What did the blonde’s holiday postcard say?
‘Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?’
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink and some peanuts.
While drinking, he hears funny voices, but thinks nothing of it.
Again, he hears the funny voices and asks the barman what they are.
The barman points to the peanuts and says, ‘Don’t worry about them.
They are complimentary nuts.’
What job did the blonde have at the M&M factory?
Proofreading.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy?
If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado...
When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
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