The wife of a boxer wakes up because of the sounds that come from the dining room.
She wakes her husband up:
Rocky, I think someone wants a particular boxing lesson...
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool.
The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles."
The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served.
Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have, pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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Joke has 22.53 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day
A man married an illiterate wife.
After two years of marriage, they gave birth to a son called EFe.
One day his mother asked him to read is multiplication table and he started immediately but when he reached 4multiply by 4 he mistakingly said 8 they mother angrily slapped him and told him the answer wasn't 8 but 44.
The boy cried and reported what happened to the father, the father took him back and angrily told the wife to tell him the correct answer and the woman hurriedly say 4mutiply by 4 is it not 44.
The man now calmed down and sai d u are Lucky that you got the answer if not I would have disgraced you here.
I hope they are all brilliant.
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I'll have you saying, "My compliments to the chef" in no time!
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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Those poor cops, they put themselves in the line of fire to protect and serve us – yet we make jokes about them.
Maybe if so many fat police officers weren’t sitting in a Dunkin Doughnuts writing speeding tickets they’d be left alone.