How do you call 5000 lawyers dead at the seashore?
A good start...
"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do.
I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV.
That's until they throw me out of Applebees."
Dave Letterman
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
I was taken short in the back of a taxi.
Because of all the mess I gave the driver a ten-pound note.
Mind you it had only been a fiver before I wiped myself with it.
Who was the last person to box Rocky Marciano?
His undertaker.
Golf