Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
Vote:
Those poor cops, they put themselves in the line of fire to protect and serve us – yet we make jokes about them.
Maybe if so many fat police officers weren’t sitting in a Dunkin Doughnuts writing speeding tickets they’d be left alone.
Did you hear about that blonde who ran into that biulding you would of thought she'd seen it.
A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses.
Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Vote:
What do bleached blondes and jumbo jets have in common?
Black boxes.
Why did the blonde have square boobs?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.