Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
A man enters the bar and orders a double martini. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.” The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.”
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What is the definition of gross ignorance? A. 144 blondes.
Why did the blonde snort sweet n' low? She thought it was diet coke.