Why did the blonde have square boobs?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What do you call a black person thats light? Michal jackson
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So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay.
The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills.
So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well.
In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills."
So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!"
The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!"
The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?"
The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"
I got this antique watch from my grandfather on his deathbed – he put up one hell of a fight for it.
Jesus saves.
But wouldn’t it have been better if he had invested?
My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes?
Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
A drunk falls into one of the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
Floundering around, he looks up and sees Nelson standing on his column.
‘Don’t jump!’ he shouts.
‘This is the shallow end!’