Q. How many night club bouncers does it take to throw someone down the stairs?
A. None! He fell.
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?
They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
How do you entertain a blonde?
tell her to find a corner in a circle room
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.
10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.
9. He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested.
8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.
7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot.
6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop".
5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat.
4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers.
3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his hemorrhoids.
2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel.
1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!
The wife of a boxer wakes up because of the sounds that come from the dining room.
She wakes her husband up:
Rocky, I think someone wants a particular boxing lesson...
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool.
The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles."
The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served.
Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have, pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?