A drunk falls into one of the fountains in Trafalgar Square.
Floundering around, he looks up and sees Nelson standing on his column.
‘Don’t jump!’ he shouts.
‘This is the shallow end!’
An actuary priced an automobile ‘fire and theft’ policy with an extremely low premium.
When asked why it was so cheap, he said, ‘Who’d steal a burnt car?’
Two drunks are walking down the street when they come across a dog, sitting on the kerb, licking its privates.
They watch for a while before one of them says, ‘I sure wish I could do that!’
The other looks at him and says, ‘Wouldn’t you like to make friends with him first?’‘
What difference is between a man and Paris?
The Paris remains Paris!
Yo mamas so fat it took 567 people to carry her.
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church.
Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
Our new midfielder cost ten million.
I call him our wonder player.
How come?
Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers?
Tyrannosaurus Hex.