The best things in life are free, plus tax.
He was so mean that when he found a pack of corn plasters he went out and bought a pair of tight shoes.
What’s black with three feets?
A piano!
How come the lawyer got underground only by his neck?
It was not enough sand...
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Seen in a bar near here: "We don't stand in your toilet, so please don't pee on our floor!"
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.
Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first?
Boy2: The blonde?
Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how.