A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout.
Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph!
The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
Why do the blondes spill water over the computer?
They want to navigate over the internet.
What do you call an alcoholic dog?
A whino!
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Basketball
Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door.
When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar.
Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door.
Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar.
Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door.
This time, there's a bum asking for a straw.
The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there.
The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
Vote:
What do you call Satan and a lawyer?
Twins!
What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
The vampire sucks you’re blood only at midnight!