Did you hear that the boxer Colloso Mamello, was disqualified?
Yes, but why?
Because he was superstitious.
He had a horseshow, hidden in his glove...
A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head.
The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’
‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’
‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman.
‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.'
A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout.
Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph!
The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
Hey babe, let's play football!
You can have first down.
High five!
Why do the blondes spill water over the computer?
They want to navigate over the internet.
What do you call an alcoholic dog?
A whino!
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Basketball
Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!