He opens the door then turns the handle.
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Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
The pouch respects Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse.
He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20.
The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left.
He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room.
To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed.
So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life.
Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs.
He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
An old man was accounting manager in a company.
Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back.
After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died.
After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
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