Best jokes ever

He opens the door then turns the handle.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
The pouch respects Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Vote:
has 61.27 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, time, Yo mama
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, time, women
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
<<<604605606607
More jokes →
Page 604 of 1428.