Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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Q: What do builders use to make websites?
A: Com.crete.
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If you want to lose weight, it is not so difficult as it seems.
You only have to leave out the third breakfast, the fourth lunch and the fifth dinner.
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
Yo mama so fat when she went to the movies she filled up the whole room.
Yo mama is so fat she has to write an apology letter to Japan.
What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.