Where was your mom last night? At Chuck Norris' place.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Earth is not spinning around the sun. The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
You are so old, you fart dust.