Yo' Mama is like a race car: she burns through four rubbers a night.
I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long.
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?"
"Alzheimer, granny!"
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Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.
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How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
Yo' Mama is so dirty, roaches check into her laundry basket, but they don't check out.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.