Yo mama's so fat when people look at her they instantly got cancer and type two diabetes
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Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Yo' Mama is so old, she calls her waterbed the Dead Sea.
Yo' Mama is so dumb, she got fired from a blow job.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
Yo' Mama is like a race car: she burns through four rubbers a night.
I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long.
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?"
"Alzheimer, granny!"
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Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.
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How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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