In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG