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In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
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Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
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Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
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Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
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Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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