Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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A furniture store keeps calling me.
But all I wanted was one night stand.
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother.
„Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
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Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week?
A: Turn on the spell checker.
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Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people.
Vote:
I remember my guidance counselor.
The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."