Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Yo' Mama is so old, she calls her waterbed the Dead Sea.
Yo' Mama is so dumb, she got fired from a blow job.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
Yo' Mama is like a race car: she burns through four rubbers a night.
I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long.
There was a boy and his mother was about to go to work.
She said, "Do not open the door for nobody".
The boy said, "Okay."
So after the mother left a girl came to their house and she said to the boy, "Let me in."
The boy said, "I don’t want to, maybe tomorrow”"
So the girl went to the window and started knocking on it.
Once again she said, "Let me in."
The boy finally gave up and let her in.
So once she got in she said, "Let’s go upstairs."
The boy said, "I don’t want to, maybe tomorrow."
The girl kept asking him so he finally gave up.
When his mama came into his room she said, "Get off that girl."
The boy said, "I don’t want to, maybe tomorrow!"
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."
"So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked.
"One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up."
The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?"
"You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"