Best jokes ever

They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Vote: has 48.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.
Vote: has 48.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. The retiree replied, "Oh great! NOW you tell me!"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: game, golf, old people
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beauty, business
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, geek, nerd
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal