The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?"
"Yeah, for sure..."
"And then... What are you waiting for...?"
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon.
If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
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Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon?
A: Because there is no shopping centre.
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Yo mama's so overweight she kills thousands just by sitting down.