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Why does ET have such big eyes? He saw the phone bill.
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More jokes about: money
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store. "Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks. The brunet hid in one that said CAT. The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS. When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other. The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!". So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!". So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it. The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
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More jokes about: blonde, cop, food, ginger
Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart? A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
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More jokes about: women
One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work. He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa. So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind. After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head. His wife yells, ''What was that for!?'' To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''
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More jokes about: sport
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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More jokes about: animal, customer service
The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir: You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here. But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not.
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More jokes about: life
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
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More jokes about: men, stupid, women
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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More jokes about: black humor
Why are black people good at basketball? Because they run, shoot and steal.
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More jokes about: racist
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
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More jokes about: dirty, god