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Q:What not to say to the nice policeman? A:I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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More jokes about: military
This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man" So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!
Vote: has 53.02 % from 165 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
Q:How do you know when you are at a gay picnic? A:When all the hot dogs taste like shit!
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More jokes about: gay
An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in a honeymoon suite. All night long, the bellboy hears laughing and clapping sounds from their room. The next morning, he asks the old man how he can do it all night at his age. The husband replies, "First, I remove my clothes. Then, I lie down on the bed face up. Then, my wife removes her clothes and lifts up my penis with one hand, and we make a bet. If it falls to left when she lets go, I win; if it falls to right, she wins." The bell boy asks, "Well, what if it doesn't fall?" "Then we both win," says the old man.
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More jokes about: marriage
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy her cigarettes. He walks there only to find it closed. So, he goes into a nearby bar to use their vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and eventually end up in her apartment. After they've had some fun, he realizes it's 3 a.m. and says, "My wife's going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?" The woman gives him some talcum powder, which he rubs on his hands and then goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and screeches, "Where the hell have you been?!" "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there, we had a few drinks, one thing led to another, and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and says, "You liar! You went bowling again!"
Vote: has 52.97 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife, women
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
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More jokes about: animal, teacher
Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, programmer, technology
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Why does Santa have such a big sac? Because he only cums once a year
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook