Yo momma's so ugly, Freddie Kruger took a paternity test to prove he wasn't her son.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
A: "Olive or twist?"
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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The largest unit of digital information is called Chuckbyte.
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Q: What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night?
A: Cold cream!
Yo mama is so fat Dorra the explorer couldn't explore any more!
Q: How do you recycle a condom?
A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
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Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?"
Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine."
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this."
Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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