The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?" "Yeah, for sure..." "And then... What are you waiting for...?"
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon. If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon? A: Because there is no shopping centre.
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
Yo mama's so overweight she kills thousands just by sitting down.