The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
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I know when god becomes angry.
When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about.
He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain.
Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list.
He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card.
He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
They say sex is a killer...
Do you want to die happy?
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Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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Q: What do you call 50 blacks at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
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A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.