Best jokes ever

Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Vote: has 47.06 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her.
Vote: has 47.04 % from 261 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 46.99 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, marriage, sex
A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
Vote: has 46.97 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, beer, black people, wife, women
Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report." Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
Vote: has 46.90 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
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More jokes about: sex
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Vote: has 46.90 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, music
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
Vote: has 46.87 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?" "That way", the student pointed. ''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
Vote: has 46.87 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
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More jokes about: cat, school, teacher