Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" " The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
What's gray and powdery? Instant Elephant.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit. She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?" A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?" The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!