Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
Why do moths fly with their legs open? Cause they've got huge mothballs!
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...