Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement? A: Hold a tupperware party!
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.