The best blonde jokes

How does a blonde answer the question, ‘Are you sexually active?’ ‘No, I just lie there.’
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A blonde girl walks in the street and sees a banana peel. Sad she was, thinking...damn I will stumble again...!
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A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
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More jokes about: blonde, computer, men
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
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Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in? A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".
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A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick. A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her. ‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says. ‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde. ‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
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How do you change a blonde’s mind? Blow in her ear.
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A blonde was so proud of herself because she finished a jigsaw in 6 months and the cover said 2-4 years!
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What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
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How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots? Flattered.
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