Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Latin insulted Chuck Norris. It is now a dead language.
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.