Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.