Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.