If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.