Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.