Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS.
Chuck Norris decides where he is.
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Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
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Chuck Norris crossed the road.
No one has ever dared question his motives.
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