Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".
Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.