Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal. Then he places the bowl.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.