Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Chuck Norris threw rocks into the ocean and named them Hawaii
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.