Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself