Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.