Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook