In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.