The best Chuck Norris jokes

When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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