Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator. He walked away with a new set of luggage.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.