Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite.
Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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