Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear. The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris. It's now known as the moon
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.