Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.