The best Chuck Norris jokes

Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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If it were true that you are what you eat. Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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