Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
If it were true that you are what you eat. Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.