When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.