Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.