The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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