Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator. He walked away with a new set of luggage.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.