The best Chuck Norris jokes

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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Chuck Norris has a Gmail ID.. it is gmail@chucknorris.com
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers. And wins.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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