The best Chuck Norris jokes

Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris