The best Chuck Norris jokes

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon. After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon. It was a tough choice...
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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