Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool. That's why his mullet never moves.