In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.