The best Chuck Norris jokes

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. Chuck gave him a warning.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
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One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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