Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
How far can you spit.
Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.