Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.