Chuck Norris can unlock a hairpin with a door.
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard? He didn't, his beard grew him.