Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.