Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.