Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier. In half.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.