Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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