Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"