Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.