It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier. In half.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
People sell their souls to the devil. The devil sells his soul to Chuck Norris.