The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Vote: has 78.01 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Vote: has 77.94 % from 278 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Vote: has 77.92 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Vote: has 77.88 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

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There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
Vote: has 77.83 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 77.76 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, family
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Vote: has 77.68 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
Vote: has 77.66 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
Vote: has 77.64 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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