Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.