Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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Chuck Norris fell off a building, he got sued for breaking the sidewalk with his fists.
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Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
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