When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.