The best Chuck Norris jokes

Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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