Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
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