Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.