James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.