One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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