Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.