Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.