Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
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