Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.