Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.