Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.