Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.