The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
Vote: has 78.55 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
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When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
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