Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.