If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
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Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?"
Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
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Chuck Norris can Moonwalk on the Sun.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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