Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.