Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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