Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.