Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
I hate Chuck Norris. Oh SHI...
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf. When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.