The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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