Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet. Why? Dirt knows better.
Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
Once an email was sent from LA to Washington. Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.