The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.