If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school. When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected. He knows the unexpected.