If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
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When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf.
When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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