If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf. When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.