Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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I hate Chuck Norris.
Oh SHI...
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