Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school. When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.