They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won.
No Questions asked.
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The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
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If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all.
Your life may be forfeit.
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
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