Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.