Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris? A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.