Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.