The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather