Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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For Chuck Norris...
In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.
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