The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
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If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once. The Wild lost.
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