Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once. The Wild lost.