Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
For Chuck Norris... In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.