Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.