When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.