Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
Chuck Norris needs no further explanation.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.