Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv. The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
Chuck Norris caught the gingerbread man.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."