Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris. It's now known as the moon
Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs. Then he climbed it up.
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.